During the years of friendship you share with certain loved ones, can you remember that defining moment, which you spent with him/her that pushes the friendship to a different level?
I remember mine.
First memory took place a decade ago at this quiet spot in my secondary school with Minie. It was a couple of girls who were just chilling there during a break and we did what girls do when they come together – we talked. And since that time 10 years ago, we didn’t stop. We were only just friends of friends but from that day on, she became my closest girlfriend from that era of my life. We exchanged letters, gossips, songs’ lyrics and details of crushes. Even though I still get angsty about how hard it is to get in touch with her sometimes, i managed to coax myself into accepting her for the person that she is.
She spent hours, which could easily transpire into days, talking to me every so often when I was going through heartbreak a year ago. She would even do it during office hours (I hope her bosses would never read this and if they do, be honoured that they have such a selfless person under their employment) and never tire of telling me the same thing over and over again because I needed the reminders. And most of all, I needed her friendship.
The next is of Daphne and me at Blu-Jazz cafe in Bali Lane exactly two years ago. She was there with her friend, whom she introduced to me as Dick. But her real name is actually Sylvia, thankfully. Sylvia left around 10pm and it was just me and Daph and it was the first time we ever hung out alone. We talked about everything that popped into our minds and it’s always a great joy to discover like-minded people. When Blu-Jazz closed, we headed to Samar Cafe a couple of streets away and chatted till 5am.
And just like a true friend, she stood firmly by me when I was going through grief. She was literally, physically there for me. She was beside me when I confronted the ex, she held my hand firmly when I needed the courage, took leave off work to spend time with me, pulled me out of my house and treated me to a good ol’ massage, listened to me saying the same stuff over and kept me in check during times I wanted to give in to my overwhelming emotions. Her friendship was what made me believe that you can still make new tight friends when you’re in the mid-20s.
Then you have the resurrected friendship – you’ve been acquittances/friends for a couple of years but you never really bothered with each other until a chance meeting. I bumped into Karen at Zouk about April last year and we both insisted we should ‘catch up’ (the two words two people who haven’t seen each other for a while always use but hardly put it into action). And surprisingly, we did finally caught up with each other a month later at Iciban Boshi at Wisma Atria. The conversations stretched to Starbucks a couple of doors away and during that few hours, the skeletons in our closets were out.
A month later, I joined the same company as Karen and we saw each other everyday and had lunch with each other almost everyday and hung out in town together every other day. I didn’t tire of seeing her, surprisingly, cos I can get that sometimes when I’ve seen someone too often. We both got the most updated accounts of each other’s life and we both lived vicariously through each other, given that we both lead rather different personal lives. She’s the most non-judgmental (along with Sue) person I know and I feel comfortable telling her everything cos I know negative thoughts are not running at the back of her magnanimous mind. Now that I’ve left the company, the only thing I miss is her calling me randomly on my extension to speak in her slow coach voice, me going over to her desk just because and our morning breaks, lunch breaks, dinner breaks, supper breaks, crying breaks…
I’ve always accepted the fact that some people are only meant to be in your life for that short or extended periods. Sometimes they leave, sometimes you leave or sometimes, you just grow out of each other’s life. But with my friends, even if the above does happen, I’m content with what we had cos at the end of the day, we left the world with nothing (just like how I told Karen that no, she can’t bring her Margiela dresses with her) but our memories and my pals had given me some kickass ones.
Somehow, this is how I imagined the boots that the elves made for the shoemaker looked like this. Maybe not as sleek and polished like the above. Maybe with more visible bold stitches… That said, I want a pair of Marc Jacobs boots made by elves!
